I hope mine doesn't look like that
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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