whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We are all done wearing pants today
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize