i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
