so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
