If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
