Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
