Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i wish my penis had a tongue
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to make out with him forever
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
