Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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