shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
