At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I need a beard to bite.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
