chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
