Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
