I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
