if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
