Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
