Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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