just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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