Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
