i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
