just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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