Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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