Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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