You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
