Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
