I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
