So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
