By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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