doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
