One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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