DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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