You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
