Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
