Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
