just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
