you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
