Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
