you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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