this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
