Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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