i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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