READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
