you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
