guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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