I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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