Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize