the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
