she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
