He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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