At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
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