It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
