Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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