Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
