I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
