I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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