very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
