Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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