Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
