I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
