YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
