Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
