I'll bet she douches with gravy.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
