We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
false alarm. still invincible.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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