So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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